Day 58 By Aaron’s mom
Aaron is still very nauseous, which makes eating difficult, but he is taking a few bits each meal. We just gave him his first multivitamin, which we are praying stays down. His pain level is constant, but managed by his meds most of the time. He has been running a slight fever and his shingles are acting up again. Positive news: His blood labs looked good this morning. His stem cells are working to undo all the damage done by radiation and chemo.
The Home-nurse made an interesting statement to Natalie this morning: “It’s your responsibility to catch the nurses’ mistakes.”
I know there are nurses and care-givers reading this blog. What do you say about the above quote?
That same nurse said some families commit to taking care of a patient before the transplant, and then disappear after the patient comes home. When choosing a transplant candidate, one of the factors considered is: Does the patient have a support group in place? The Home-nurse said he lost one patient because the family flaked out. This may be why he puts so much responsibility on the family. Of course, Pastor Shores always said “Don’t accept responsibility where you have no authority.” Regardless, Natalie keeps a watchful eye. Praise God.
June 8th, 2007 at 8:04 am
Aaron, your family has got to be the all time winner of the most attentive and supportive family. I praise God for them and for what God is doing to finish the job of bringing you back to Ojai and to health.
June 8th, 2007 at 9:35 am
That’s a scary statement. Whether it’s right or not, it seems to have been the case for you so far. Thank God for a watchful wife and mom! You guys are amazing. We’ll keep praying that the nausea ends and the pain goes away.
June 8th, 2007 at 10:47 am
That nurses comment makes me really angry!! Who is responsible for catching my mistakes??? Who would be willing to take the blame for me?? Takers?? anyone??? I thought not. God is with you. He is watching over you. He will prevail and leave some of those who are less than helpful to pay for their apathy. God bless you and keep you. We love you and will redouble our prayers.
June 8th, 2007 at 10:52 am
I am reminded of the comment that a person made regarding J. S. having been murdered while walking home late one night. The person said he should not have been on the street at that time of night. Being seriously set aback, I retorted promptly, “No, that guy should not have killed him!”.
The criminal was clearly the responsible party, although we probably do run a greater risk going out on the street late at night.
We are not responsible to hide away in our closet, but we are responsible for stopping bad guys.
No matter what our profession, we are all responsible for doing our job the best. Unfortunately, personal responsibility is losing ground and blaming others is gaining.
There is a difference between blaming others and holding them accountable for their work. We are responsible for holding accountable those whom we trust with our welfare. So I guess in that sense the home-nurse has a point. But I don’t see many nurses being fired.
I guess if you want a job done right you better do it yourself.
Forgive me for rambling. You may be dismissed.
June 8th, 2007 at 2:26 pm
I think I might have said something a little different to a patient and family because that is too much responsibilty to put on someone who has no formal training in that field. I would have told the family, they will be the nurse’s eyes when they are not there, because the family is there 24/7 amd they know the patient better than the nurse, they are most likely to pick up on the small things. So don’t hesitate to tell the nurse any small change you notice, she may not act on it right then, but in the back of her mind it will be there to add to her observations. Nurses are human and make mistakes but they should not be careless and expect a family to blame themselves for not catching her mistakes….that’s way too much guilt and responsibility to put on them. They are stressed as it is! And as Forrest Gump would say”Thats all I am going to say about that!” Bless you guys, you are the best support a patient could ever hope for!
June 8th, 2007 at 7:25 pm
I was kept under extremely close watch for a good year after my transplant–going into the clinic 2 times a week for 6 months (my blood was drawn every time about an hour before clinic so the dr. had the latest reading); my medications were changed constantly. i did not have 24/7 caregivers (more like 8/7) and my doctor basically took responsibility for my well-being. i had a team of 4 doctors altho one was my primary one, but they all acted as one and worked under the same philosophy. all the doctors met once a week to discuss every patient. i eventually “graduated” to once-a-week and then once-every-2-weeks and then once a month, etc.
we were told clearly that our responsibility was to keep me on a bacteria-free diet; make sure our home was free of bacteria and plants (fungus) and to call for fevers over 101. i went back to the hospital twice.
i think your friend marsha is probably right; the nurse just didn’t say what she really meant.
you do get to be pretty good about reading your labs after you’ve read them every day for 100 days!!! and in your situation you have obviously watched them carefully. i would say keep on doing that and never feel you are “bothering” nurses or doctors to ask for clarification on anything.
June 8th, 2007 at 8:54 pm
People are so funny.
Anyway, I am sure you wouldn’t have chosen this particular ministry field but you have taken it on with such grace, and I am sure that your perseverance is already making a big difference in His Kingdom.
Thanks and cheers.
June 9th, 2007 at 3:49 pm
While it ends up being the family who may catch any mistakes made, it is not their responsibility! It is the responsibility of the LICENSED person to not make a mistake, both Doctor and nurse. They are held liable for their actions in a court of law. However, if the mistake kills your family member, them being held liable does not bring that person back. It is good you are paying such close attention Natalie. God has been with you as you go along to help you see the problems and point them out.
June 11th, 2007 at 5:42 am
Aaron, I am thankful for your example of bravery and the example you have set for God’s Grace. You are placed in a position that I do not know if I could handle the stress. You’re quite a man.
Having the extended family support group is fantastic. Having a wonderful loving wife and two precious kids is a wonderful way to fill your heart with the knowledge you are loved without limits and inspiration to take it one more day for them too.
Anne and Ken, well they’re okay too. Love you guys!!!
June 13th, 2007 at 3:42 am
(You weren’t rambling Ernie M.; I liked what you said about not blaming the victim. I had a sorority sister in college survive a horrific experience in which her roommate was killed and the perp set fire to the apartment. People said “she should have locked her door” and my reaction was “no, people shouldn’t be breaking into homes, killing and starting fires.” It is such a relief to hear others feel the same way.)
I hope what the nurse meant is that everyone needs to work together to help each other so human mistakes aren’t perpetuated. I hope she didn’t mean to place blame or the burden of accountability on Natalie’s and the family’s shoulders. You’ve been given the grace to overcome obstacles that would crush many of us!
Philosophically speaking to Pastor Shores’ quote:
My priest friend, Fr. Todd, told me that according to Catholic theology, a pastor is held accountable before God for every soul in the parish. But I wouldn’t turn complete responsibility for my soul over to any human or follow a dogma without careful monitoring; I listen to my conscience. The pastors are the “experts”, but it is stilll my soul. I think that analogy applies to the body as well. :) As Ernie said, thanks for enduring my rambling, too!